I want to be nourished, healthy.
Mostly I use movement to stay present, to stay awake. But my attendance to my kineasthetic [felt and sensed] experience doesn't seem to be enough on its own.
Makes me think I need/want concepts to give direction, to give purpose. Also I need community. Ideally I could be part of a community that is organized around a conceptual system that would give me purpose and direction and connection.
[I think I wrote this note after visiting the Monastic Academy and I was thinking about their framework for keeping meditation practice going]
Concepts — like what kind of concepts?
Intersubjectivity is the first concept that comes to mind. Another concept could be relaxation. When I say conceptual diet, I guess I mean healthy Words I could repeat or return to.
They’d be healthy if their meaning were stable and strong enough to nourish me. They’d be healthy they returned me to balance or re-oriented me towards a direction I’d been meaning to go…
Hmmm. I don’t think I’ve been in a community like this but it would have been nice. (In fact I think I… often shied away from this kind of thing on purpose? Like, whenever anybody would introduce a concept like “boundaries” or whatever I’d try to be contrarian about it)
So did you find anything like that since 2015?
re: contrarian impulse about ‘boundaries,’ I think I know what you mean. Often it doesn’t work out with words/concepts in the long term, like words lose meaning/power as people gather around them. Or they get worn out.
The latest word in my ‘conceptual diet’ is ‘Dream,’ but actual dreams, not ‘aspiration’ or ‘desire.’ But actual sleeping dreams.